Conscious parenting

Conscious parenting

Surviving Back-to-School Stress

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I want to first acknowledge and congratulate you on surviving the close of summer, and hope you accumulated enough relaxation and perspective to carry you through for a while. Now, as a parent you must deal with the onset of the fall chaos and the process of beginning anew with a brand-new school year ahead.  This transition process is part of the cyclical nature of life’s many seasons as you and your child continue to progress. You must constantly adjust to changes as a parent, and now is no different. When getting your kids ready to go back to school or leave home for college, (no matter what grade) you as the parent and all family members feel the adjustment and are affected. With new and sometimes conflicting schedules and responsibilities, the mood of a home shifts.

Similar to what public relations professionals call an “advertising blitz”, parents and their children face a concentrated “multi-task” blitz in the fall. The go, go, go pace is real and the shift is felt as the mellowness of summer fades away and new pervading obligations take its place. The pace of life quickens as your responsibilities, energy output and stress levels may magnify, too. All that is required of you and individual family needs may create conflict or anxiety, so you need to be prepared as leader of the pack.

 SOME SPECIFIC STRESS SURVIVAL SKILLS:

  • Remember what it was like for you beginning or returning to school and how you feel as the school year begins.
  • Be empathetic with your child. Even if you do not understand their stress, be sensitive to their perceptions.
  • Prioritize your responsibilities and goals, creating a general “to do” list to work from.
  • Clear out your living and working spaces. Do it in short bursts or all at once. Just do it.
  • Factor in time to enjoy physical exercise, stretching or relaxed breathing every day.
  • Eliminate needless errands, phone calls, busywork and time wasters.
  • Learn to delegate reasonable chores and responsibilities to family members.
  • Plan ahead, call ahead, get directions, make arrangements and organize ahead of time   (whenever humanly possible). Be flexible and spontaneous the rest of the time.
  • Prepare meals in advance, use the freezer, and cook in the morning or the day before.
  • Be sure to stay emotionally connected to your child, partner, friends, and yourself. Share dialogue, smiles and hugs, even at crunch times.
  • Set limits on over-scheduling. Create space for “down time”, “alone time”, and “family time.”
  • Balance back to school stress with lightness and a sense of humor. Keep your perspective as you model that to your child.
  • Listen twice as much as you talk to invite your child’s thoughts, worries, and ongoing feelings.
  • Brainstorm ways to create positive and realistic expectations, based on personal strengths and an optimistic, calming attitude.

Pay attention to your attitudes and feelings and be an emotionally available sounding board as a conscious parent. You and your student feel the shift in energy and deserve to honor what that brings up for both of you.

Stress can be a two-headed animal. Stressors can cause anxiety or fear as well it can promote positive action. You learn how to tame or escape it as you see it coming. On one hand, stress can motivate, energize and create a sense of urgency, causing a shift of mental and physical gears in one’s life. The immediate shift of focus and urgency can help you to create workable strategies to improve or deal with goals and issues that are in front of you. Productivity is imminent, despite uncomfortable feelings. So, in that sense, it can be positive to have multiple obligations with external deadlines designed to focus on getting the tasks done. You create a system, even if it is a haphazard one, to accomplish what you must do. Stress, on the other hand can also be overwhelming, frightening, exhausting and debilitating to one’s health and relationships, if not managed properly. During this time of the year, it is a good idea to plan things out well, pace yourself and be clear about your intentions before you leap onto the “multi-task rollercoaster” of this transitional big push time. Plan out your goals and priorities, manage your relationships with love and put your stress management strategies at the top of your list!

You somehow get many of the details attended to, seemingly in one long burst. The degree of doing and going, usually without stopping to take a breath, relax and recharge is quite commonplace, especially for parents. There are deadlines, clothing, books and supplies to buy, school forms to fill out, doctor’s appointments, new friends and clothing to sort through.  The adjustments to new and busier schedules, more obligatory driving, less sleep or relaxation and a stricter routine are all issues that arise. When you forget to stop, take a breath or take good care of yourself and your loved ones, the process becomes even more taxing.  It will take its toll on you eventually, if you aren’t mindful of how to organize it all.

It’s how you manage your schedules, your responsibilities and the care for yourself and your family that matters most. You will probably get everything done; at least accomplish the priorities, at least some of the time. It will benefit you to improve your skills around time, stress and clutter management.  Work on good planning, compromise, effective interpersonal communication skills, and how to delegate fairly and creatively in order to improve the whole process for all of you. You will (all) feel better, as a result!

Essentially, we are talking about coping skills; building in more effective and more personally empowering skills to deal with life. Add in the rushed pace of our society and the rapid increase of life’s pressures, personal responsibilities and you have more to cope with. You have both the challenge and the opportunity to drown or excel in your response to stress. You have to consciously choose to take the steps toward a path of time and self-management principles and routines to make this shift possible. Just like any venture, remember to take it one step at a time and do your best.  You will make it work for you!

 Remember too, that although summer is officially over and you are now in the throes of a fast-paced fall, you have some control over how it goes. You at least, have control over being accountable for how you handle the whirlwind. Your attitude and your focus can help you stay centered. Like Dorothy said,” Everything I always needed was right in my own back yard!”  Use your strengths to help guide your path both at home and as you model for your child how to handle the world. Take charge, be alert, work on organizing your life and your time. Take good care of you, your child and your mental health. With the right mix of love, understanding, and tools that work- you will definitely survive…the key is doing it with consciousness.

 https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Life-Nina-Sidell-M-A/dp/1506175589

 

Contact me for therapy, co-parenting (Inc. post-divorce), speaking, life coaching, “Parenting for Life!” group coaching, and Live Inspired! The Program for Women group @: www.LiveInspiredwithNina.com. Look for my book, “Parenting for Life!” Live Inspired!® Nina~ Like me on Facebook @: Nina Sidell, Inspiring Lives. #parenting #consciousparenting #coparenting #schoolstress #depression #anxiety #copingwithstress

Parenting Toolbox Tips

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“What do you remember as a child? What do you want your child to remember? Nina Sidell, M.A.”Parenting for Life”

When you are in the throes of parenting, the dynamic feels immediate, momentary, and specific to the interaction or developmental stage. What we often need to be reminded of as parents is that every interaction builds your lifetime relationship. Every interaction offers a deepening of love and respect, trust and safety between parent and child. Every interaction has the potential to create a memory, whether positive or negative, and offers life lessons that reach far beyond the moments you both experience, especially for the child.

To parent well over time you must be aware of consistent practices to support your strongest lifetime relationship.

Here Are Some Tips to Add to Your Parenting Toolbox:

  • Be aware of your own feelings and attitudes as you react or respond to your child.
  • Notice your triggers from current or past unresolved issues to help you be a mindful parent in the present.
  • Take care of your unmet inner childhood needs as you build empathy and sensitivity skills as a parent.
  • Welcome life lessons, “insight moments”, and “lifetime insights” while teaching this openness to your child.
  • Be sure to model healthy boundaries and accountability around your words and actions.
  • Get support if you need to gain healing, strengthen your boundaries, or personal accountability.
  • Learn about your parenting style and parenting goals, building tools that reflect both.
  • Notice the many positive interactions and behaviors that support your child and your relationship.
  • Create a home that feels like a safe place, a sanctuary for all.
  • Remember that everyone’s needs matter in a family.

Reach out to me for a free phone consultation if you need individual, couples, co-parenting, family or child therapy and support. I also work with parents and families during and post-divorce.

Call: 215-628-0282 or Email: Nina@LiveInspiredwithNina.com

For your copies of my Award-Winning book, “Parenting for Life” click here: https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Life-Nina-Sidell-M-A/dp/1506175589 

#parenting #consciousparenting #parentingtools #familytherapy #couplestherapy #couplescounseling #childtherapy #divorce #parentingbook #psychotherapy #lifecoaching

 

 

We’ve Forgotten How to Keep Our Children Safe!

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In these times and over the course of time, we have lost some of our vital human values. In particular the societal importance placed upon the family as well as the protection and guidance of children have gone awry.  In our society, children are subjected to more than overly adult, boundary-less, life-threatening, and intolerable circumstances.

Everywhere you look and listen these days, there are frightening events, Continue Reading…

Help and hope for the holidays~

Tags: , , , , , , , , , Conscious parenting, Family, Holiday Stress No comments
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Hello Subscribers!

I hope this note finds you well. I am reaching out to you before the holidays begin. We live in a chaotic and complex world that is reflected in inner and outer turmoil. I am here to provide safety from the stress of life as a viable solution. You deserve to be heard, express yourself, and learn empowering tools in a safe, supportive place as you release stress and overwhelm. If you want to, you can improve your mental, emotional and physical reactions thus building a better life and better relationships today.  I will help you build intentional self-compassion and “stand up tall inside yourself” as you continue your sacred life’s journey.

 

Life in general today mixed with the prospect of family time can bring up strife and unresolved dynamics. The media inundates us with reminders of the upcoming occasions, illustrated with joyous happy people. In reality, many emotions and expectations come up for many people during holiday times because they do not experience the picture perfect celebrations portrayed on TV. Life today for many people is not like an idyllic Norman Rockwell painting. “It is what it is” until you create a better way from this season on.

 

Please let me know if I can support you during this often richly complex and emotional season.  During transition and holiday time, people can feel particularly tense as finances, obligations, and interpersonal family issues can spike. Learn how to improve your self-care and mindfulness and let’s create an action plan to help you cope. This is an excellent and opportune time to explore a path of healing and forgiveness- for your relationship with others and yourself.

Feel free to schedule sessions with me to offer you understanding, resolution and fulfillment this holiday season.

 

Reach out to me at: Nina@LiveInspiredwithNina.com or call me at: 215-628-0282 and I will fit you into my schedule.

 

I am here to support you to live your best life,

Take good care,

Live Inspired! ®

Nina~

http://www.LiveInspiredwithNina.com

The Purpose of Effective Parenting

Tags: , , , , all ages and stages, Conscious parenting, Effective parenting, Leadership and compassions, Parental tools, Parenting Book, Parenting for Life, Self-awareness, Teaching by example, Uncategorized No comments
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Children don’t come with instruction manuals, nor do parents automatically know what to do in every moment or every situation that arises. In many cases, trial and error can become second nature. When we think of parenting and how to do it well, right, or effectively many things come to mind. It is true that we aren’t taught in a classroom setting or with any one parenting manual “how to” parent well. We parents often learn while in the throes of the parenting experience. We hope to do the best for our children, disposing the rest, less effective, detracting parenting practices. Children need the best start in life that they can have. When they feel safe with their parent in all of the ways possible, their esteem and life open up to wondrous possibilities.

Continue Reading…