” Feeling truly heard by another person is deeply satisfying, necessary, and sometimes feels like a treat more than a regular occurrence.” Nina K. Sidell, “Parenting for Life”
Do you feel heard when you talk and share with others? Are you a good listener? How often do you feel truly listened to with your friends, family and colleagues? What acknowledgements are demonstrated to you when you feel that you are being heard? After all, communication is designed for both people in a discourse to feel seen, heard, and understood as a basic psychological human need. When we forget that everyone has something to say, we are more present and truly hearing both sides. Listening well and feeling heard assist in resolving conflict and bring people together. Even if those ‘agree to disagree’, or have no consensus, there is always room for a healthy discussion.
Here are some Active Listening Tips to practice and ask of others:
The Listener:
- Relax enough to be available to hear someone else and respect their point of view.
- Be present when listening by putting own agenda and reactions aside.
- Take turns to confirm what was said.
- Ask if what you heard is what the speaker said (versus interpretation).
- The listener responds to what the speaker says instead of sharing, comparing, or reacting.
- The listener talks after the speaker does in a shared dialogue.
- Respond rather than react.
- Thank the speaker for sharing.
The Speaker:
- Set aside a good time to talk for both parties where there are no distractions.
- Be clear and direct and stay on topic.
- Make “I” Statements when expressing feelings or opinions to make the sent message easier to digest.
- The purpose of sharing is for the speaker is to be heard clearly.
- Blame, shame, name-calling, yelling and insults are not permitted when sharing.
- Learn how to self-correct in the moment if need be.
- Know that the goal is to be heard and not necessarily to be agreed with.
- Thank the listener for listening.
It is never too late to communicate well and to improve your skills and relationships. If I can be of help, please reach out to me whether you are struggling with personal empowerment or relationship issues at home or at work. Email me at: Nina@LiveInspiredwithNina.com. I am here to help. Live Inspired! ® Nina~
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