Tag Mom’s Choice Award-Winner

Tag Mom’s Choice Award-Winner

A Mother’s Evolution

Tags: , , , , , , , Parenting
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For as long as I can remember, specifically since the age of seven, I wanted to become a mommy. I felt love for my future unborn children and was excited to know and love them. I recall telling my parents that this was my dream, along with being a teacher, helper (I did not know the word therapist or life coach then), singer, dancer, writer, drummer, detective, and race car driver. I knew that I had big dreams and that I somehow wanted to help the world and grow rich and famous doing so.  So far, I have succeeded in accomplishing all but a few. I don’t drum professionally, although I have enjoyed African dance classes with drummers inspiring our moves, and I have treasured creative, musical family times and spiritual drum circles. I am not a race car driver, yet I drive with confident enthusiasm (sometimes with a tad too much vigor). But throughout it all, I have relished being my children’s mother. It is a job that I honor and loved when they were little and still love now. It is a privilege to give life, then nurture those lives, and watch developmental and personal miracles happen as new paths continuously appear in their lives. I am proud and honored and my heart remains full with love for my dear sons.

 

As a therapist and life coach, I work with people from all walks of life and with different perspectives and issues. Being the facilitator for other people’s psychological, emotional, behavioral, and spiritual growth and process; I also facilitate my own growth. Being my children’s mother is another important way that I continue to learn and grow with my evolving kids. The learning experience, focus on mutual love and growth, and the “felt sense” to own in everyday life, as described by Dr. Eugene Gendlin, is perpetually rewarding. The “felt sense” (Gendlin, Focusing, 1982) is the focus of adding to traditional emotional and environmental cues by focusing on a slight bodily quality that can be physically felt from a deeper, more emotional place- a global sense underneath that can deepen cognitive detail not otherwise accessible to the person.  This technique works well with my clients, in addition to using it myself. Being a parent for me is deeply heart profound and soul rewarding.

Being a parent keeps me honest, open, and forever evolving. My practice of parenting helps my writing and work helping others. My philosophy is, “Healthy communication involves an ongoing willingness to learn and relearn, an awakening of new ways to absorb and express information, for yourself and the ones you love.” Parenting for Life, Nina Sidell, 2015. Being the devoted mom of two older children, I have been there and done that. Much of my experience as a mother has been done solo, as a single parent. It has been the journey of a lifetime, offering my open-hearted wisdom and care to the two human beings that are a part of me, the ones I undeniably love and adore- forever and always and no matter what. Our journey has been one of co-habitating and co-learning.  That is the way it has been and the learning continues as our lives become more separate; more individuated. Time forces us to morph into our separate selves, as we all find both old and new ways of being and relating as adults with one another, and as we three continue to grow.

I can remember countless moments when raising my children, that we used our self-appointed family slogan, “Harmony Three” enjoying fun family time together. We made up a family song based on a movie moment favorite. We often enjoyed meals together, family projects, hiked in nearby woods, played sports, invented games and special family rituals, camped out in the backyard, enjoyed picnics in lush meadows and on our family room floor, and created art, music, dance, plays, puppet shows, and writing projects in an open learning environment. Life without the illusion of perfection was loving, close-knit, and an adventure in its own perfect way. Rather than freezing time, I have cherished every single second of it: the joys, challenges, struggles, triumphs, and spiritual process between us and for each of us, my two children and I. I have tried to capture each moment in- the- moment and cement as many as I can to remember as a memory later. My heart leads the way as we continue our lives journeys.

With one child out of the house, living on his own post-college I have had to let go. My next child is perched to fly the coop and about to attend his college years. The letting go place in me slowly re-opens, (initially kicking and screaming), now welcomes in a new time and new era. My children are growing into more of who they are and are destined to become. The same is true for our relationship, as we relate on different levels while still maintaining our roles. I watch proudly and protectively as I let go and yet still hold on. Like a proud mama eagle, I proudly sit and watch my children’s wings spread and fly taking them to where they may go next. I become the woman in the “empty nest” welcoming my children back home again as my wings too shall fly.

When you have children, whether you always wanted to become a mother or not- you are connected to them for life. The awareness that your lifetime relationship is an ongoing evolution as you and your child (or children) evolve makes it all the more worthwhile.

 

Live Inspired! ® Nina Sidell, M.A. Therapist, Life Coach, Speaker, Writer, and Award-Winning and Deepak Chopra endorsed author of, Parenting for Lifewww.LiveInspiredwithNina.com”

Get your copy today! https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Life-Nina-Sidell-M-A/dp/1506175589

 

Collective Compassion: Celebrating Our Humanity

Tags: , , , , , , , , catalyst, Celebrate our humanity, Collective Compassion, Live Inspired!®, psych central, restore faith in humanity
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As human beings we are inscribed with natural tendencies to connect with one another, disregarding natural differences that separate us. Despite the vast ways in which people find division and disconnection from one another, there are some glowing attributes that illuminate the human condition.

When we think of the world today and all of its “sham, drudgery and broken dreams” as Max Ehrmann wrote in his 1927 poem Desiderata, we may become disillusioned or feel sad that there is a lack of real or widespread compassion among us. However, as Ehrmann so eloquently went on to explain long ago, “It is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

What makes our world beautiful in today’s modern times? What can we grasp onto Continue Reading…

Divorce and the Practice of Dating

Tags: , , , , , , , , Relationships
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World of Psychology

Growing up, many of us learned to value and naturally imagine our futures. We fantasized about who we would become when we grew up. That included who our future mates may be and what they’d look like, and our role in caring for our imaginary children. Others fantasized about a life partner or a career while children and a family were not on the agenda. For some people, singlehood without parenthood was the path. Either way, we all hoped that when we married, our unions would be happy and perhaps lifelong ones.

Most of us, when we bond or pair with another, especially when exclusive and monogamous, want it to work. However, studies described by the American Psychological Association show that “marriage and divorce are both common experiences. In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. Healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems. However, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher.”

Childhood books, movies, and cartoons promise a certain “happily ever after.” Well-meaning parents and caregivers promise a happy and idyllic future. A stark contrast exists today. But we are adjusting to new rules in today’s world. The options for “happily ever after” have widened. Divorce is more common; therefore, more people are divorced and dating. Continue Reading…

Family Constellation Work

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World of Psychology

For all of us who have experienced family life and its impact, with all of its places of light and darkness, there is a wonderful group process that fosters present-day healing. It is called family constellation work and is a day-long workshop run by a trained facilitator.

Family constellation workshops were started by Dr. Bert Hellinger, a family therapist from Germany, and are now available worldwide. Participants target an area of their present life that needs clarity, resolution, or healing. It does not have to relate to family history, nor are the processes always related to the family of origin.

The first workshop in which I participated was with friends and strangers at a friend’s home. The facilitator, Randy Goldberg, was soft-spoken, intelligent, and sensitive, and I felt immediately comfortable with him. I felt an unspoken connection as he also reminded me of a dear old friend and a significant clinical supervisor and teacher in my life.

During the processes, this gentle yet strong group leader handled everyone with finesse, and my original impressions of his competency were validated. He ran the processes as I would have if I were leading the group. It was a mirror that confirmed my style as effective and skilled. Continue Reading…

A Life With Meaning

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Meaningful Lives
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World of Psychology

A Life with Meaning

Many things motivate us as people. Living with meaning is a crucial component that helps us to enjoy a fully operational and gratifying life. Like having air in one’s sails, the possession of what matters uniquely to each of us fuels us in many ways. As human beings we need connection to our ideals and to one another. We also need to connect introspectively within ourselves so we can connect to our inner truth, deeper wisdom, and core ideals that drive us in the world.

For some, meaning is attached to the creation of a happy, healthy, and enduring family life. For others, it is the quest for rich and meaningful relationships in our associations and social circles. Some individuals’ driving force lies in their desire to make a difference in their work life, political, environmental or social causes that affect the world stage.

Many folks are content meeting their basic needs and living simply, paced by a natural, organic rhythm. Others find meaning by seeking spiritual fulfillment and live life as a transcendent journey moving forward toward personal evolution.  Continue Reading…