When you were a child did one or both of your parents say to you, “Be a good girl” or “Be a good boy” in a consistent and authoritative manner? Was the answer to every problem or the basis for every solution for you to be compliant, quiet, without thoughts or opinions, without needs, or downright silent? (more…)
For all of us who have experienced family life and its impact, with all of its places of light and darkness, there is a wonderful group process that fosters present-day healing. It is called family constellation work and is a day-long workshop run by a trained facilitator.
Family constellation workshops were started by Dr. Bert Hellinger, a family therapist from Germany, and are now available worldwide. Participants target an area of their present life that needs clarity, resolution, or healing. It does not have to relate to family history, nor are the processes always related to the family of origin.
The first workshop in which I participated was with friends and strangers at a friend’s home. The facilitator, Randy Goldberg, was soft-spoken, intelligent, and sensitive, and I felt immediately comfortable with him. I felt an unspoken connection as he also reminded me of a dear old friend and a significant clinical supervisor and teacher in my life.
During the processes, this gentle yet strong group leader handled everyone with finesse, and my original impressions of his competency were validated. He ran the processes as I would have if I were leading the group. It was a mirror that confirmed my style as effective and skilled. (more…)
What does Unconditional Love mean to you? How would you characterize its components, origin and accessibility in your life?
Is it easier for you to show unconditional love to others, to yourself or both equally well? Do you show yourself unconditional love or do you hold yourself back and give it all away? Does someone have to earn, be worthy or deserving of unconditional love to receive it? If someone hurts, angers or disappoints you, do you continue to love them unconditionally or do you stop? If you stop, are you able to regain it later on? If you are triggered by nasty words or actions of a friend, family member, colleague or lover, inappropriate hostility (more…)