Whether you are single or married, you want love; you want to maintain the feelings of love. It is natural for you to crave good feelings. Love is good, however love isn’t everything. When love is mutually shared and expressed, it’s wonderful, fantastic, and phenomenal. Love gives properly to each person. Lack of love, unilateral, when one-sided, only one person is feeling it, is lopsided, uncomfortable and unfortunate. That kind of love is self-serving, deprives the other of a good and fair close relationship. UN-returned or non-existent love deprive both people of having a good shot of sharing love from the get-go.
Love that is healthy between a woman and a man, friends, a parent and child feels good to both people. You both feel relaxed, seen, heard and understood. There is respect shown to one another, acceptance of differences, uniqueness, personal space and an appreciation of your shared togetherness. You find ways of working things out. You know what healthy love feels like. You know when love feels unhealthy, more like hate, a constant tug of war, or worse, apathy and is worthy of real relief, a real remedy, real change.
Lop-sided romantic love “pulls you under” makes you feel less than you are, challenges your authenticity, criticizes you for being (too much or too little) like someone else. UN-healthy love depletes you, makes you doubt yourself, challenges the choices you make and separates you. Healthy love respects and brings out the best in you, brings you closer, even if you are resistant to growth.
Best scenario in romantic love is to find someone who is peaceful in themselves, who is your friend, enjoys who you are; you enjoy them and have fun together. Your best mate is willing to communicate and willing to do the work alongside you because you’re on the same team. Essentially, in love, being friends and truly intimate lovers, able and willing to enjoy mature love is the best equation for happiness, your very best bet!
In romantic love, you have the choice to bolt, or stay and work it out. When you encounter difficult or selfish people you learn that there is no 2-way street, no middle ground, no real “we”. The world of one person takes over the world of the other or a shared world replaces both individual selves. Neither is healthy nor will lead to the power that real, mature, shared love can generate. You choose to love, you choose not to love and sometimes love chooses you. You can’t help but to enjoy and live by its seduction, its lusty, lofty calls.
Even when it comes to The Super Bowl, if your team doesn’t love you back (or better yet doesn’t know you): you know who you love and that’s plenty satisfying enough! In this case, unilateral love is acceptable and damned comfortable, especially when your beloved team wins!
Be honest about who you love, who you don’t love and act accordingly. After all, everyone deserves the truth and to feel like a champion, enjoy a lifetime of pride when you’re on a winning team, don’t you think? Live Inspired!® Nina~ www.LiveInspiredwithNina.com