You know how you feel when life is good, when you’re secure with the people in your life. You feel good when you know who your friends are, who you’re related to, dating, in love with, married to; who you think or hope is “the one”. The feeling of emotional security captures your heart, erases the need to question, fear, worry, may or may not minimize any tendencies to self-delude.
What happens when your ideal picture changes, the glass of friendship or love slightly cracks or more significantly shatters? How do you respond to the inevitable choice to feel what is real, possibly let go of what has become increasingly unreal? Where do your good feelings go when you face change, break-up or lose a relationship?
A good rule of thumb is to be aware of yourself, your feelings, and the lessons that appear to you in each of your relationships. Be vigilantly aware of what’s going on in the moment, how you feel with that person, and feelings triggered by your association with them. As you get familiar with what exists between and within you when you’re together, you’ll more easily recognize what’s there (or not) when you are apart.
Whether you slipped, fell, were pushed or jumped off the relationship cliff into unknown territory, you’ll be okay when you land! Sometimes, moving away from someone else gets you closer to yourself. Make sure that you’re holding your hand and stand up on solid ground, steady yourself as you re-emerge. Balance out support from others with introspection and self-care.
You believe what your heart tells you. Your mind holds beliefs that empower or limit you; in your process you learn the difference. Over time, you can see your part in creating or maintaining what’s going on in your relationships. You recognize your stumbling blocks and potential to enjoy relationships that move and develop you or keep you stuck. You overcome and learn from past patterns and choose more wisely as time moves on.
Ironically, many people come into your life over your lifetime. Some people stay with you throughout most of your time here. Others are only in your world for a short while or periodically. Most play an important role in your own self-awareness, self-discovery and mastery. Your relationships, whether short or long-lived exist to serve a part of you, challenge you to grow if you accept them as an opportunity. All challenges, after all, are opportunities in disguise!
So you find yourself alone, you were always alone before, just with another person by your side. Funny thing when humans connect, so much time and space are taken up within one’s consciousness for another. Where did you go, by yourself, just you alone? The company of another can be a delight, not excluding the delight of your own company, separate and apart from them.
Even with your best friends and true beloved, you exist. When you stand together or separate from someone else you’ve been connected to, you exist. You don’t lose yourself through love and loss, you only gain a greater fullness of yourself, more self-respect. You learn your lessons in love, accept the inevitable nature of change and stand up taller inside yourself. Ironically, you attract and connect with others who, in turn, respect you more.
You’re entitled to hold or speak your truth with the person whose relationship with you has changed, is changing or who you are losing, who is losing you. Do what you need to take care of yourself to best get through this time. Tune in and pay attention to what you feel and need to take care of yourself. Protect your space and time if you need to. Get support from people you can trust. Enjoy your quiet time to feel, think and reflect with honest introspection. Be willing to walk through a little “emotional fire” before the day is done. Have faith… you emerge like the phoenix, smarter, stronger, and all the wiser!
Change and loss in relationships offer you the chance to be more loving, consequently, become more honest, authentic, and more lovable. Remember that when your relationships change, you are invited to psychologically shift, experience a symbolic death, or if wise, enjoy a personal re-birth to help you move forward. You get stronger inside, not tougher. The choice is up to you. Live Inspired!® Nina~ www.LiveInspiredwithNina.com