By Nina Sidell, published June 15, 2016
Your attitudes assist or detract from your experience when moving through life. Whether your attitude is expectant, positive, negative, neutral, simple, or complex- it drives you and gives you the results you are looking for. The best way to assess your position in life, your relationships, and your focus on gifts or hindrances is to go to the root of your belief system- your attitude.
If you are happy with your open or closed system of thinking and it works well for you, then keep it up! If your tendency to be an optimist, pessimist, or realist serves you well, then maintain it. We can choose to alter our beliefs and attitudes based on what we are taught, exposed to, and our motivation to change. I was speaking with someone recently who was a proud self-proclaimed “realist.” As the conversation continued, I asked him about a few topics and where he stood on them. The relevance of his reality-based attitude slipped away when it clearly stemmed from an inherent pessimism- challenging positive possibilities. It made me think that our attitude about our attitudes, like with all else, directly correlates to the outcome of our lives and our relationships. If we are realistic and honest about our tendencies and preferred ways of thinking and how this effects our holistic quality of life, we are in better shape.
So, what happens if you realize that your attitude about something or someone is ineffective, outdated, or faulty. Perhaps your attitude is holding you back, separating you from others, or God-forbid- hurting you and your chances for a happier, healthier, and more successful life. A good first step is to notice and acknowledge the specific areas that you wish to investigate using personal introspection. The next step is to consider making a change that will be natural and beneficial to you- in alignment with your current and future values and goals. Once you identify where and what kind of alterations you require, begin to practice the art of “self-correction”. This entails your becoming mindful of your thoughts, words, and actions as they all serve as representatives of your underlying position. Keep in mind that you can change your mind whenever you want. This is your underlying right as you own your right to grow and change.
Here are some tips for practicing the art of “self-correction”:
- Be aware of what your thoughts, words, and actions represent and if they are accurate for you now.
- Notice and be willing to edit yourself mid-thought, mid-sentence, when reviewing events, or when casting roles.
- Reinforce your inherent humanity in a positive way when you practice “self-correction”.
- Pay attention to internalized or acquired messages that do not serve you any longer (i.e victim, bully, martyr, scapegoat, etc. )
- Acknowledge how your self-corrective behavior positively impacts your relationships (as a parent, partner, friend, colleague).
- Give yourself the freedom to think for yourself and really investigate the attitudes you hold.
- Be self-loving with yourself as you continue to learn and grow.
- Be aware that some of your attitudes may come from outside of yourself.
- Be aware that some of the attitudes you accept may have been born before you.
- Know that you oversee yourself and that you can work on healing anything!
- If you need support, reach out to me, or find someone qualified to assist you.
Live Inspired! ® Nina Sidell, M.A. Therapist, Life Coach, Speaker, Writer, and Award-Winning and Deepak Chopra endorsed author of, Parenting for Life www.LiveInspiredwithNina.com