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Crowd in blur at a rock concert. Crowd in long motion blur

Hear This Loud and Clear!

When you were growing up did you ever ask or hear the question, “If you could do without one of your senses, which one would it be?” It is a complex and disturbing query. As a human being you rely heavily on your senses (along with your intellect and emotions) to navigate this thing called Life. Our senses have been called, intelligences, minds, perceptions, sensations, sense organs, sensory skills or deficits, sentient feelings, and physical sensations.

Like many people who enjoy the vast musical offerings during the summer months, I too, love outdoor concerts in abundance. There is something special about feeling the warmth of a summer’s day or sultry summer evening while listening to wonderful live music. While traveling across three states with a friend to attend a music festival recently, I was reminded of just how important our senses are. We often take for granted that which our bodies can do without effort or question. (more…)

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Hushed Tones Speak Loudly

World of Psychology

When we communicate with other people we have the choice to speak, listen, respond, or be silent. We choose to talk in loud, moderate, or hushed tones. Depending on the content and context of our dialogues and how we feel about the person or subject, we share with some degree of forcefulness or gentleness.

While speaking in loud tones produces immediate attention, speaking in hushed tones does not minimize. In fact, often it maximizes the attention given to the speaker or the topic at hand. It is a powerful tool to quiet one’s voice when revealing something serious or important. Speaking quietly works well when sharing something private or personal, when teaching a child self-control and listening skills, and when making a strong point without fanfare or volume.

Delving into conversations, nuances flow between the words and tones (more…)

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A Mother’s Evolution

A place for moms looking to create meaningful and purposeful lives for themselves and their children. A Mother’s Evolution Nina Sidell, M.A. For as long as I can remember, specifically since the age of seven, I wanted to become a mommy. I felt love for my future unborn children and was excited to know and love them. I recall telling my parents that this was my dream, along with being a teacher, helper (I did not…

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Collective Compassion: Celebrating Our Humanity

As human beings we are inscribed with natural tendencies to connect with one another, disregarding natural differences that separate us. Despite the vast ways in which people find division and disconnection from one another, there are some glowing attributes that illuminate the human condition.

When we think of the world today and all of its “sham, drudgery and broken dreams” as Max Ehrmann wrote in his 1927 poem Desiderata, we may become disillusioned or feel sad that there is a lack of real or widespread compassion among us. However, as Ehrmann so eloquently went on to explain long ago, “It is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

What makes our world beautiful in today’s modern times? What can we grasp onto (more…)

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Divorce and the Practice of Dating

 

World of Psychology

Growing up, many of us learned to value and naturally imagine our futures. We fantasized about who we would become when we grew up. That included who our future mates may be and what they’d look like, and our role in caring for our imaginary children. Others fantasized about a life partner or a career while children and a family were not on the agenda. For some people, singlehood without parenthood was the path. Either way, we all hoped that when we married, our unions would be happy and perhaps lifelong ones.

Most of us, when we bond or pair with another, especially when exclusive and monogamous, want it to work. However, studies described by the American Psychological Association show that “marriage and divorce are both common experiences. In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. Healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems. However, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher.”

Childhood books, movies, and cartoons promise a certain “happily ever after.” Well-meaning parents and caregivers promise a happy and idyllic future. A stark contrast exists today. But we are adjusting to new rules in today’s world. The options for “happily ever after” have widened. Divorce is more common; therefore, more people are divorced and dating. (more…)

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Family Constellation Work

 

World of Psychology

For all of us who have experienced family life and its impact, with all of its places of light and darkness, there is a wonderful group process that fosters present-day healing. It is called family constellation work and is a day-long workshop run by a trained facilitator.

Family constellation workshops were started by Dr. Bert Hellinger, a family therapist from Germany, and are now available worldwide. Participants target an area of their present life that needs clarity, resolution, or healing. It does not have to relate to family history, nor are the processes always related to the family of origin.

The first workshop in which I participated was with friends and strangers at a friend’s home. The facilitator, Randy Goldberg, was soft-spoken, intelligent, and sensitive, and I felt immediately comfortable with him. I felt an unspoken connection as he also reminded me of a dear old friend and a significant clinical supervisor and teacher in my life.

During the processes, this gentle yet strong group leader handled everyone with finesse, and my original impressions of his competency were validated. He ran the processes as I would have if I were leading the group. It was a mirror that confirmed my style as effective and skilled. (more…)

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